Friday Fiction- Part 4 of Safe. Tell Me How You Would End The Story!

Stained Glass Mom and BabyOne final, inevitable, push and it was done. I struggled upright and dug my fingers into the pool of warm blood that soaked into the sterile white gauze which covered the sheets.

The warm body of my child slid into my hands and I lifted her to my chest. I gazed at the perfect tiny nose, the dark blue eyes, and the tiny little “o” of a mouth.

My baby, my daughter, gasped her first breath.

My forehead rested against the sticky skin of my daughter’s warm body as I inhaled the scent of her.

“We need to wash her up now.”

I shook my head weakly as they cut the cord, severing  the last connection between me and my tiny child. I resisted as the nurse tried to take her, until my baby started to cry. Tears welled up in my own eyes as I reluctantly handed her over, watching every move as the nurse carried my daughter to the sink, bathed her, and wrapped her in a blanket. As the nurse turned I reached out my arms, but she walked briskly past me, straight out of the room.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and tried to stand but the second nurse held me down. My fingers clawed at her hands. I was weak and dizzy, no match for the thick-limbed attendant. Blood oozed down my legs as she forced me back onto the bed.

Then I began to scream.

I screamed a scream that threatened to tear my throat. I screamed until the nurse jammed a needle in my arm.

My voice cut off abruptly as I fell back against the pillows, unconscious.

*****

I woke in my room. The lovely big bed covered with pillows and sheets that felt like satin. I placed both hands on my belly and felt the sunken empty place where my daughter had been.

I rolled to my side and curled into a ball, hugging a pillow against my aching breasts.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I wept as if sorrow were the only emotion left in the world.

For me, one of the few women left who could conceive and carry a child to term, perhaps it was.

 

This is the original end of this short story. I wrote Safe many months ago, after losing my third baby. Clearly some of my thoughts and feelings about that event were projected in this story. I thought about continuing the story, but since I’m in a different place mentally and emotionally, I felt like it would be forced. I also thought about apologizing that the story is abrupt and sad, but then I decided not to because, unfortunately, sometimes really crappy things happen. Writing through it helps.

So, what I finally decided to do was give you an opportunity to bring the story to a satisfactory conclusion. If you like it the way it is, great. If not…

Tell me how you would end the story.

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11 Responses to Friday Fiction- Part 4 of Safe. Tell Me How You Would End The Story!

  1. D. D. Falvo says:

    I have an entire nation in my novel that is suffering from the same issue–an inability to bear a child to term, or even conceive. I don’t drill down to this level b/c my main focus is elsewhere–the peeps who can have children are not my MCs–so it was really nice to have this perspective. You have made me think harder about their plight. How would I end it? In my world, she would lose the baby for a while and find a way to insert herself in their life (in some externally hidden way.) I would place the child in a family with influence, and the make the child an heir. I guess the MC focus would shift to the child and present him/her with “Moses” conflict. I really enjoyed your short story, Nicole. Hope you do something more with it!

    • Nicole says:

      I love this idea D.D.! I was focused on having her escape and find her baby, but by the time she would be physically able to do that, and then found the child, would she take her daughter from a family that she’d bonded with? It’s interesting that we’ve both been contemplating this theme. I can’t wait to read your work!

      • D. D. Falvo says:

        I’m a little bit stupid–just really read your italicized questions now. (I admit, I hardly ever read anyone’s questions. I rush too much.) Nicole, I had no idea that you had lost a child so recently. :( I’m so, so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers that you and you family are healed and abundantly blessed. XO

  2. I think it is awesome that you can share this, and I am glad that you can create something gritty, unique, and wonderful while also helping yourself to heal. I would have to think until my brain hurt, but I would come up with some crazy profound and unexpected significance for the child. (She is carrying within her the cure for cancer or something), and also let us know who the mysterious father is. (Perhaps an impressive concerned and kindly alien with perfect hair), but as always your ideas are the ones I want to read Nicole, and that is why I tune in here every Friday !

    Thanks again for the Friday Fiction Fix !

    • Nicole says:

      Very cool ideas Scott, thanks for sharing. I love the thought of the daughter having some unexpected role to play. Good point about the Dad too, who is he, where is he, what’s his role in all of this? See, that’s why I asked you guys- it gets the questions rolling, which always leads to more stories!

  3. Sarah L Fox says:

    I’m sorry you went through that, Nicole. As for the story’s ending, I love it the way it is. I thought it was a powerful ending.

    • Nicole says:

      Thanks for your kind words Sarah. I think everything happens for a reason, and the way everything worked out has allowed me to help lots of other people’s babies, so there is a silver lining. :) I’m so glad you enjoyed the story!

  4. So very sorry you lost your baby, Nicole, I had no idea :( I’m glad you found one way to let it out, and I was just going to say that only a mother could write this story as beautifully and in such detail as you did. I would very much like to see a happy ending, even though I do realize reality isn’t always that kind. Sometimes we do have to embrace tragedy for what it is, drink down the bitterness and let it slowly fade away. If you were up for it, you could write an epilogue scene for how her next birth is successful, and even if the child is taken away, she meets him/her unknowingly in the future. Up to how you feel, though. All my best wishes :)

I would love to hear from you!