Friday Fiction- Part 1 of The Key

Cold water slid along my skin like a frosty silk sheet. My legs pumped as they bound together, the movement gradually changed from the up and down that my legs required to the more efficient side to side motion as my long golden tail and fin formed.

Excitement bubbled in my chest and I grinned as I raced through the dark depths gripping my treasure in my hand.

My friends said they would never believe me, at least, not if I didn’t have evidence.

The soft glow of the moonlight faded quickly as I swam deeper. The distant song of a humpback whale traveled through the salt sea. My ears strained as I tried to pick out the notes of the season’s new verse.

Before long, pinpoints of light became visible, marking the outskirts of my home. My pace slowed as I skimmed along to bottom, scanning the weeds and rocks for signs of my friends.

Tendrils of what looked like glowing seaweed escaped from behind a large barnacle-crusted boulder.

“I see you,” I called.

A face peeked out and my friend smiled.

Soon two more faces joined the first, then all three swam out, surrounded me, and began firing questions.

“Did you do it?”

“Did you see them?”

“What was it like?”

“What did you find?”

With a gesture I shushed their questions and then held out my closed hand. Three sets of wide eyes looked down as I uncurled my finger.

What do you think she will show them? I also need names for the main character and the three friends. Any suggestions?

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11 Responses to Friday Fiction- Part 1 of The Key

  1. Denise Falvo says:

    Aw, a mermaid story. Delightful. Looks like you write in many genres, my friend. :) I would name her Elisande.

  2. Sarah L Fox says:

    Ooh, mermaids! Fun! Maybe Imalia or Taya for one of the characters? Not sure what she’s going to show them… something to prove she walked on land?

  3. Beautiful details!!
    Names? Hmmm Leilani, Kailee, i like Hawaiian names for this for some reason :)
    In her hand, an item only found on land, new to them, perhaps a rose bud to invoke more senses, or candy?

    fun post!!

  4. Big fun! Possible names could be Angle, Bob, Chum. I could go through the alphabet with bad names ! The main character could be retrieving the item that allows the morphing, to share with the others. Good start Nicole !

  5. I’ve been so behind on all your writing, apologies :P Funnily, I recently watched a “documentary” on Discovery about mer-people…lol. I love underwater concepts. I’m really itching to find a superb Atlantis or mermaid story (I loved Ponyo, btw :) . Hmm…well she’d have to find something small. Maybe a weird type of fish, since you’re hinting at something abnormal. I’d go for anything that can build the story, so probably a trinket, but I’m sure you have some idea. Great concept, keep at it!

    • Nicole says:

      No apologies needed, I have been very behind also! I cannot wait to have internet at home again. It’s been two months now and I’m going a bit crazy. I have been fascinated with mermaids ever since Splash (The Tom Hanks/Daryl Hannah movie) and I’ve always wanted to write an underwater story, so here’s a chance. Thanks for reading!

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